


secrets, trust, family

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Little bit of my headcanon that Nick is clingy when sleepy, Post-Episode s16e22, slight episode tag to 16x18, very tiny tag to 16x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 18:56:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: Ellie tells Gibbs a secret Nick had been keeping, one that shows he understands better than most but then another secret is revealed.





	secrets, trust, family

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this one is kind of a mess! In terms of Nick's reactions and facial expressions I just had so many thoughts lol

“Bishop.”  
  
Ellie felt her lips turn up for a second at the fact he knew it was her before she even started walking down the steps.  
  
“I was wondering if we could talk?”   
  
He sets down his tools, moving to pour them a glass of bourbon. “Depends.”  
  
“I'm not going to make you talk about what you told us if that's what you think. It's related to that but..not about you.” Ellie grabbed the glass, resting against the table while Gibbs did the same on the other end.   
  
“So talk.” Gibbs stared at her with his intense stare but she didn't look away.  
  
“I won't say I know exactly what you went through or how you felt but..I do have an understanding.” She swished the drink around, finally looking away to look at it.   
  
“Chen.”  
  
Ellie nodded. “I didn't directly kill him but..I handcuffed him, made him choose. Yes he chose to die instead of the other option but..it was exactly what I wanted him to choose.”  
  
 _You're right. Life is about choices Chen, and I've made mine._  
  
“I remember it all like it was yesterday.” She admits. “How hard it was to not just shoot him. Anger that felt like it would swallow me whole, the sadness that even if I did this it wouldn't bring him back, but that drive to do it because Qasim should have been the one alive.”  
  
“It changes you.” Gibbs says, his stare turning into a comforting one without saying the words.  
  
Ellie nodded with a sigh. “It does.”  
  
“You've done a good job of handling it Bishop.”  
  
She smiled a little. “Thanks Gibbs. I'm not the only one who can understand you know..except he really understands.”  
  
Gibbs tilted his head slightly telling her to go on.   
  
“Nick has a similar story.” Ellie says quietly. “He said I could tell you..just like you it's not something he likes talking about.”  
  
Ellie had expected to see a look that showed he wasn't surprised, an answering ‘I know’..but Gibbs set down his glass of bourbon and looked confused or as confused as Gibbs could look.   
  
He really didn't know. She swallowed, he had known about Sofia (back when Ellie herself didn't know) so she had expected him to know this.  
  
Ellie took deep breath and slowly let it out. “When Nick was undercover, he became friendly with this family..parents, a son and daughter. He tried to not get close knowing it could end up being trouble for them but you know Nick..he had a family but nothing really concrete, he got pulled in before he even realized it. The parents treated him like another son, their children treated him like an older sibling, and the guys Nick was after found out this family was a weakness even though Nick tried to keep it a secret.”   
  
She swallowed the lump rising in her throat, images of Nick telling her the story floating through her head. His eyes watering, fists and jaw clenched, the hurt and anger both radiating from his body, and finally when he was done..the tears falling as the gate opened. Nick had spent years holding it in, keeping it a secret.  
  
Ellie was the first person he told. So as he broke down, the first time she had seen him actually cry and not on the verge (like with Clay), she wrapped her arms around him. He had _begged_ her not to hate him, but said he wouldn't blame her if she wanted nothing to do with a killer. Ellie made sure he knew she didn't hate him at all, and that he wasn't a killer even if she had implied it even a little only a day before. It was a whole other side to Nick, the pieces that were still broken and had been broken a little more by the case.   
  
“They killed the family.” She whispered. “It's not the same pain as you went through but..Nick was so angry and wanted revenge.” Gibbs downed the rest of his bourbon, hands gripping the glass tightly. “So he took matters into his own hands after his undercover mission was over.”  
  
Silence fell upon the basement. Ellie felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, she didn't have to look to know it was Nick texting her probably asking if she had done it.   
  
“He told you.” Gibbs said, eyeing her a little suspiciously. “Torres who can be as difficult to talk about things as I am, sometimes worse, told you all of that.”  
  
Ellie felt her body tense. Well..she should have expected that.  
  
“We're friends.”  
  
“He's friends with McGee, he's friends with Palmer, he's friends with Kasie. Yet they aren't standing here telling me and I'm guessing you're the first person who knows.”   
  
She followed his earlier action and down the rest of the bourbon, cringing as it burned. “What are you expecting me to say here Gibbs?”  
  
“The truth.”  
  
A humorless laugh left her lips. “The truth? Okay fine, the truth is..Nick is my best friend, the truth is I trust him probably more than I trust you and McGee which is ridiculous considering I've known you two for six years but it's how it is, the truth is..” She let out a shaky breath, words she had once said before spilling out of her again. “I broke rule 12.”  
  
“About time.”  
  
Her head snapped up, a sense of deja vu washing over her like a cold bucket of water.   
  
“What?”  
  
Gibbs chuckled. “Shouldn't have been so obvious Bishop.” She sputtered, not being able to get any words out. “When?”  
  
Ellie bit her lip. “Only recently. After the Mona Lisa case..after he told me."

He had told her the story not long after they finally worked through (as much as they could) what had happened between them. Telling her had been Nick's way of showing he had forgiven her..what better way then to share a secret kept close to the chest?

It was also the night _they_ changed.

 

* * *

  
  
_Ellie felt her heart clench seeing the doubt in his eyes that she didn't hate him._  
  
 _“Nick I'm telling you the truth.” She said softly, one hand resting on his cheek._  
  
 _“I want to believe you Ellie..but what I just told you proves I'm nothing but a killer.” His voice shook. “They weren't even armed! And you believed yourself I could have-”_  
  
 _She cut him off crashing her lips to his. Nick tensed for a second before he kissed back, it was slightly rough and forceful, as if he wanted to make sure he wasn't imagining it, but it still made her heart race. Nick pulled her to him, making Ellie straddle his lap. One of his hands gripped her hip hard no doubt leaving a faint bruise behind as another tangled in her hair tightly, enough that it was a little painful but it only made her press against him more. It was a kiss full of desperateness and built up tension, but in the back of Ellie's mind she knew by the roughness of it, it was Nick's way of releasing anger he held against her for the words she had said and the hurt she caused him._  
  
 _When they pulled away to breathe, both of them breathing heavily, neither of them opened their eyes for a few more seconds savoring the kiss. Ellie let her eyes flutter open to find Nick already looking at her, an almost look of awe on his face making her grin._  
  
 _“Believe me now?”_  
  
 _A laugh fell from his lips. “Well if that's how you kiss guys you hate, hate me all you like.”_  
  
 _She shoved at his shoulder with a gasp. “Nick!”_  
  
 _He grinned. “I believe you.”_  
  
 _“Good.” She huffed._  
  
 _Ellie moved to get off his lap but Nick wrapped an arm around her tightly._  
  
 _“You aren't going anywhere yet woman.”_  
  
 _She raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”_  
  
 _Nick looked at her with a look so warm and..loving, that her stomach flipped and her face softened. He leaned forward and kissed her again._

 

* * *

  
  
“If this was before, I would remind you strongly of rule 12.”  
  
Ellie looked at Gibbs. “And now?”  
  
He sighed. “We've all been through a lot.”  
  
“Gibbs?”  
  
“Go home Bishop. I'll see you and Nick at work tomorrow.”   
  
Ellie gaped a little but nodded. “Goodnight Gibbs.”  
  
As Ellie arrived home, Gibbs had moved to his living room.  
  
Another piece of paper, another rule, burning in the fireplace.   
  
He knew he wouldn't regret burning this one.

 

* * *

  
  
“Ellie?” Nick said groggily from where he laid on the bed.   
  
Ellie laughed. “Didn't you just text me? Yet you're already falling asleep.”  
  
He only grunted, hands reaching for her.   
  
She sent him an amused look. “Let me go get changed first.”  
  
“Ellie.” Nick whined. Ellie chuckled and quickly got ready for bed, Nick right away grabbing onto her when she did.   
  
“What happened to the Nick that didn't sleep?” She teased.   
  
“That was before you.” He mumbled sleepily. Ellie buried her face in his chest and smiled. “Tell me about it tomorrow?”  
  
“Of course my koala bear.”   
  
“Oh shut up.” Nick grumbled making her giggle.

 

* * *

  
  
The next day at work Ellie subtly watched as before McGee arrived, Gibbs placed a quick hand on Nick's shoulder giving it a squeeze. Nick looked confused for only a brief second before he understood. It was Gibbs’ way of showing support and that he had nothing against Nick's actions. 

 

* * *

  
  
Nick felt nothing but relief in that moment.  
  
Once they had found out someone had came after Gibbs all he could feel was a rush of worry, fear. Gibbs who trusted Nick before any of them, Gibbs who didn't judge him and even protected him when he revealed he planted evidence, who believed in him through it all even when everything pointed to Nick being the killer of that woman, Gibbs who had given him a group that he now considered friends and family..something he didn't know he had needed or wanted.   
  
Then there was the anger when Gibbs wouldn't talk to them, tell them what was going on. How could he not trust them after everything? And so he did all he could do, follow Gibbs and push McGee and Ellie into confronting him. Hearing Gibbs confess to what he did, Nick had stood in that elevator fidgeting his fingers and clenching his fists like he always did when anxious, and could feel his own confession bubbling to the surface. As the doors closed behind Gibbs, McGee had stared off a little into space and Ellie had leaned against the wall giving her the opportunity to look at him without raising suspicions to McGee. She could clearly see him struggling and so when they emptied back out to the squad room she made some excuse and dragged him away to an empty hall and an unused supply closet. She kissed him until his body relaxed and the anxiousness went away.  
  
But now as Gibbs gave his shoulder a squeeze before moving to sit at his desk, Nick felt relief. He was no longer alone on his secret, and had people who still supported him even after knowing. A weight he didn't know was there lifted off his chest.   
  
Ellie smiled encouragingly at him, and Nick ducked his head as he grinned.  
  
They had many shared secrets between them and some would come out eventually no matter if they liked it or not, but Nick knew Ellie had his back and he had hers. Only two months later would Ellie's own secret come out, and Nick would have to show it as tensions were high between the three as they fought to bring Ziva home. Even as Gibbs hurt and angry threatened to fire him as he stuck up for Ellie and talked back to Gibbs when he and Ellie got into a yelling match, Nick still didn't step down.   
  
Nick had trusted her and believed in her enough to spill his secret to Gibbs, she in turn did the same. And when Gibbs had apologized in his own Gibbs way, a moment from when he first started came to mind.  
  
 _But you're part of a family now, so act like it Torres._  
  
 _Your family's crazy._  
  
 _Yeah, but they're still family._


End file.
